Allen Vs. PEDs - Part 2 1:51 PM

I last left off with my opinions addressing what actually constitutes a PED. Sain commented regarding marathons. He wrote:
What about marathons, where you basically need to eat something or risk hitting the wall? I suppose you could argue you could eat regular foods, like banana, but then that's enhancing as well, no?

Great question and more relevant than you can imagine. In fact, I do believe that eating any "regular" foods are a form of "enhancing" as well. Marathons are the most popular "endurance" race and should be judged based solely on a body's abilities to endure the rigors of 26.2 miles. There is nothing that make marathons any different from another endurance race. Why allow people to draw a shroud over their true performance and spread the lies of a finish time aided by supplements? Sain writes about the risk of hitting "the wall". Well, if you hit "the wall", then fuckin' deal with it. This is what should separate the best from the great from the good from the mediocre.

Now that I've addressed "what constitutes a PED?", I'd like to address the question of "how much do PEDs really matter for you and I?".

How much impact does a PED have on a person like you or me?
This more or less stems from a big pet peeve of mine. What annoys me more than anything is the statement(or what I'd like to call an excuse) some people make regarding their running, swimming, cycling, etc. Have you ever heard this?

Sorry, I can't run X miles without some Gu.

Oh man, I forgot to bring my Gatorade. I should probably just run for a little while.

Crap, forgot my cycling gloves. I NEED those to cycle.

Let's get something straight. You don't NEED anything. It's not the end of the world to do any of these things without your precious special equipment, apparel, or drinks/foods. Can you run those X miles without Gu. I guarantee it. Sure, it won't be as cozy, but maybe your worthless spoon-fed Nicole Richie mindset can use a good kick in the ass. There's an excellent anecdote in the December 2009 issue of Runners' World that tells the story of a guy who forgot his running shoes and ended up running a marathon in his dress shoes. Now that's what I'm talking about. All this fancy pants gear or apparel made of special NASA expedition fabrics are completely over the top. Running is purely just that. Get outside and run. Cycling is just that. Get on your bike and start pedaling.

So back to OTC PEDs. I say, to hell with all the supplements out there. I should be able to perform just as well with or without them. They certainly aren't helping our friend, Big Papi. Unless VitaminWater has changed their beverage direction to "helping you play baseball like crap".


I contend that the average person can achieve exactly the same results with and without these so-called PEDs. It may take the average person more work and time to do so. But, there's satisfaction in it. Accomplishing a goal or feat without succumbing to the world-wide hoodwink driven by both the consumers and producers of these PEDs.

So far, this has all been a lot of hearsay and conjecture. I should put my money where my mouth is. Challenge accepted!

My dear friend, Melvin, is a newly avid runner. He has just completed his first marathon (The Seattle Marathon) and is a strong lobbyist for all manufactured energy/sports ingestible substances. Before the Seattle Marathon, he went as far as to say something to the effect of "One should bring his/her own Gu in case they're giving away different kinds at the race stations". Are you fuckin' kidding me?! Read that again! If this isn't a PED, then I don't get it. It's gotten to a point where there are preferences.

Anyway, I've agreed to a slapbet. Within one year's time, I need to run a marathon(my first). If my time is faster than Melvin's, then I win. Otherwise, Melvin wins.

1. Slapbet commisioner is Rob Blankenship.
2. The marathon I choose should be comparable to the Seattle Marathon. In all likelihood, I'll just run the Seattle Marathon next year to put to rest any balking at the marathon that I choose.
3. I have to beat a chip time of 3:53:12.
4. During the race, I cannot ingest anything other than water.

Let it be known that this slapbet was a done deal before Melvin's marathon, so it's not like he loafed it at all. This will essentially pit a well-oiled machine with PEDs against another well-oiled machine. In the end, we'll know if my claims are true. I fully intend to exploit that this is all nonsense.

Of course, I already see a number of fallacies in this experiment:

1. It should be me versus me with PEDs. But, that's gonna take too long, so we'll just go with this. On the bright side, it brings a competitive nature between Melvin and I.
   
2. I'm kind of in a catch-22 with my own arguments. If I win, I essentially deem PEDs worthless, but also denounce that they indeed are performance enhancing drugs. If I lose, I prove that they are performance enhancing drugs. Well...yes and no...I'd still consider them performance enhancing drugs regardless of the outcome, because we don't know how I would have finished using them.
3. It's not a totally controlled experiment because of weather, age, and physical structure. We're doing the best we can! Give us an A for effort....at least a participation award.
   

So this basically concludes my small diatribe against PEDs and a year's worth of marathon training to look forward to. I've started to run again as of last week. Watch out, Melvin!

Allen Vs. PEDs - Part 1 9:29 PM

Performance Enhancing Drugs, otherwise known as PEDs, have settled in as the resident king of sports scandals. Outside of the recent Tiger Woods fiasco (really...who hasn't had intimate relations with him?), sports fans have been treated to a decade of steroid and PED potpourri. For me, it all started with the 1998 and 1999 MLB seasons where Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa had captivated America with their homerun hitting race. Unfortunately for them and all the other drug-sucking douches out there, suspicions quickly rose and brought steroid and performance enhancing drug use to the media forefront. Shortly after, the BALCO saga was brought to light and history started to write itself.

MLB and the NFL were under heavy scrutiny for their drug testing policies. A number of players (past and present) were outed for their involvement as peddlers and users. Just as a side note, I do not understand the public's lax attitude towards PED usage in the NFL compared to the MLB. Shawne Merriman, Julius Peppers, and Rodney Harrison all tested positive, but were hardly chastised outside of a 4-game suspension. Merriman was even in the running for Defensive Player of the Year despite being exposed for steroid usage the same year. Although as of late, I am seeing that there are instances in the MLB (i.e. ARod) where the same "turn the other cheek" mentality has surfaced. Still, it's all puzzling.

Anyway, in summary, steroids are bad and I haven't even mentioned cycling, the olympics, or Caster Semenya.

So why is this post, entitled Allen Vs. PEDs? That, my friend, is a grade A question, but can only be followed up by two other questions. To what extent can we call something a PED? How much impact does a PED have on a person like you or me?

To What Extent Can We Call A Substance A PED?
Most substances are pretty straightforward. If it starts with "ste" and ends in "roid", it's likely a PED. If you bought a 2-stage athletic supplement called the "cream" and the "clear", you're probably taking PEDs. If it comes with syringes with large block letters printed on the side saying "ANABOLIC", then yeah, your nuts are gonna shrink.

But what about over-the-counter stuff? Things that you and I can buy readily and are widely accepted to ingest during a sporting contest. Sports drinks(Gatorade, electrolytes, etc) and energy supplements(Gu, Clif shot blocks, etc)...can they be considered performance enhancing drugs?

A quick search brings me to a definition that a performance enhancing drug is any substance taken to increase a particular skill-set. I read this on the internet, so it must be true!

From this point on, I'm going to use running as an example because it is relevant(you'll understand later) and because it's simple. By the definition, all of those over-the-counter sports drinks and energy supplements would fall into the category of a performance enhancing drug. A Shocker!


And you know what? I fully agree. Did people in the 1950s suck down some Gu during a footrace? Hell no. They just ran. The virginity of a sport like running is getting deflowered by all the energy supplements and sports tablets out there trying to get you to the next level faster and easier. Getting faster should just be a lot of work and sweat. Instead, here are electrolytes and straight glucose to boost your performance.

I can see a few arguments against these claims. One being that "but, these are only replenishing essential components(electrolytes, vitamins, glucose) that are being lost during the competition". Well, I say stop being such a pussy about it and man up. The reason why long distance running is hard is because it's a test of ENDURANCE. Last time I looked up the definition of endurance, it wasn't a picture of a fat piece of shit in a head band drinking gatorade. You train to condition your body to be able to handle the rigors of an endurance race. A half-marathon-plus distance is supposed to be about pure physical endurance for that distance. It's not supposed to be about who has the best physical endurance WITH these extra substances.

Another poor argument is that "these are available to everybody, so it shouldn't be considered a PED". Hey asshole, wrong again. Human growth hormones are available to everybody too, but to you they're different. I say you're guilty of PED bigotry.

The only semi-plausible argument that I can see is that banned substances differ in their abilities to alter the physical nature of a person for the long-term whereas everyday OTC substances make short-term differences. Like I said...this is plausible...just like going into that massage parlor at 4am is plausibly a good idea. I would still contend that using these OTC supplements during training and competition does boost the long-term performance of a person, albeit more slowly than banned substances. But for entertainment's sake, let's say that OTC supplements have no long term effects on altering a person's physical nature. The illusion of performance is still an act being performed in the short-term(during the event) and that's what counts the most.

All of this clearly matters quite a bit for elite athletes trying to get that edge to top one another, but how much does it really matter for an average person like us?

Stay tuned for the next post...

Long Time Coming 9:26 PM

Haven't posted in a long time. This is mostly because of traveling(Central Alpine Lakes, Peru, Israel, etc) that I've been doing recently. On top of that, I'm a very proud owner of a home in NE Portland.

I'll probably be doing some "backposting" eventually.

I'm quasi-settled into my new place and am getting back into the swing of a normal routine now.

How Fast Was Hood To Coast? 3:11 PM

Below is the breakdown in projected times and actual times for the Hood To Coast team that got duped into accepting me as a team member. Projected times are in black and are based on a personal 10k time. The actual times are in red. The team did pretty great. Everyone was actually really brought their shit for the run or everybody was just really horrible at projecting their 10k times.

Hood To Coast 2:13 PM

Hood to Coast is a 190 some odd mile relay race that starts at Mt. Hood and ends at the Oregon Coast at the Seaside Promenade. It's a pretty huge event and I was able to get on a team with Tal, Danny, and Anna.

Basically, you get 12 to a team and each person runs 3 legs(36 total if you used your multiplication tables). Generally, you split up into 2 vans. The first van runs through the first 6 legs and then gets some "chill" time while the next 6 legs run.

Here's van 1 at the start.


To exchange between runners, you pass off a......wait for it......slap bracelet! Yeah, seriously....a slap bracelet! I also totally left my pogs at home. Here's Danny handing off to Debbie. Good slap!


This whole race was unlike what I thought it was going to be. It was a lot of doing stuff. Constantly, doing stuff. Parking(surprisingly, this can be a bitch). Driving. Running. Eating. And, not sleeping.

Tal had leg 1 and the profile is pretty appealing until you realize how steep downhill the entire run is. His legs were pretty thrashed by the end of it. Debbie was real smart and brought a rolling bar to relax the muscles and counter soreness/tightness. Rolling out the muscles became a common theme. I wanted the full on rookie Hood to Coast experience, so I opted not to "roll".

I had leg 6 and overall it was pretty sweet. I really liked how I was the last to go and the handoff to the other van. I didn't like how I was the last to go and everybody was done. You get anxious to run when you see all your other teammates doing their runs. I just wanted to go out and start my leg.

My 1st, 2nd, and 3rd legs were 7.42, 4.15, and 5.35 miles respectively. They ended up going down at approximately 2 PM, midnight, and 8 AM respectively. All in all, really favorable times to run. I didn't have a crazy early morning run or a dead of the night run.

During the race, it was all business. You're always doing something. Driving. Parking. Running. Eating. There's always something going on. The first van exchange was the only time we were able to unwind. Tal was gracious enough to host us at his place for some pasta. What a fine young domestique!


We watched the last parts of Tropic Thunder. From what I saw, Jack Black makes that movie. He probably saves it from being one of the most awful movies around.

The 2nd van exchange was less relaxing. We were to drive the last van exchange where there were fields for us to sleep in. Too bad we took a wrong turn and made it to the exchange point pretty late. Jonathan, Tal, and myself stayed in the car, while Danny, Anna, and Debbie took to the field. I'd say most of us got less than a wink when the walkie talkie went off saying that they would be coming in in a few minutes. It was like Tal switched from off to on. He just ran out of the car, slapped on his shoes, headlamp, and reflective vest and was off. I was still rubbing my eyes and searching for my contacts.

Once our van finished, we drove out to seaside for breakfast and then played the waiting game. I'll be frank. That game sucks a fat set.

We passed the time by walking around seaside. Anna really got excited about taffy.


I'd say the most fun was when we went and just hung out by the water. Literally, Hood to Coast. Rejoicapalooza! Throwing sand, though?


The other van got in and we crossed the line together. Then we headed home. We didn't have any patience to stay for the party/ceremony. We were tired and there's something to be said for spending 30+ hours in a van with the same people and never wanting to see their faces again.....for a couple days at least.

Shaq VS 9:16 PM

I had nothing but rock-bottom expectations for this show, but it's actually pretty solidly entertaining. A lot of it has to do with Shaq's personality. The guy is actually really funny and personable.

The dimmest light of the show is the announcer with dark hair. His name is Pat and he's a douche. Rather than just state the facts(I just want the facts), he feels the need to bring the color. His proficiency as a color man likens my burning desire to listen to Nickelback or Creed....they're the same anyway.

You Say Tuh-May-Toe, And So Do I 11:30 PM

My first tomato. A red zebra. My tears of joy and rapture could not be salty enough.


Oh, how they grow up so fast.

Mt. Adams 9:44 PM

On the first weekend of this month, Melvin, Anne, and I took a trip out to Mt. Adams for a day hike to the summit. For the most part, Mt. Adams is done either as a 2-day summit or a day hike. We arrived at the trailhead campground Friday evening and tried to get as much shuteye as possible. An early alarm of 3:30 AM got us up and moving. The hike itself was pretty fun. We reached lunch counter at a pretty good clip(took about 2 hours). Lunch counter is a camp area for those pursuing a 2-day summit. Seeing all the tents was pretty sweet. We had enough daylight at this point to take off the headlamps we were wearing.

From lunch counter, we hit the real ascent through the snowfields. We had ice axes with us, but no crampons. This was my first time using an ice axe and Melvin gave me some short lessons in how I should use it. Very well appreciated, but its very tempting to do something ridiculous and stupid with something as cool looking as an ice axe. Very tempting, indeed....

It was another brutal 4 hours of climbing until we finally reached the summit. Upon reaching the Mt. Adams summit, we also reached another summit of emotional disappointment. The recent heat wave that blasted the Pacific NW has encapsulated all the emissions and smog from the surrounding areas. The views were less than spectacular with the brown smog clouding up Mt. Rainier and Mt. St. Helens. The smog and haze completely obscured Mt. Hood and the range moving south(Jefferson and Sisters). But regardless, we made it to the top and were thankful for that.


We rushed down by glissading through most of the snow field. Unlike the nice plush soft glissading chutes at Mt. Rainier's Muir Snowfield, there were plenty of times when the chutes turned into hard rock and ice. It was painful at times and added to the let down of the summit. Glissading is one of the best rewards for doing an arduous climb up a snow field. This reward was snatched away and left us crying. Our frozen tears did nothing to comfort us.

I had borrowed my roommate's rollup sled to try down the chutes. Bad idea. I had zero control. The sled just goes way too fast and rockets out from under you. The sled goes one way, I go the other way, and unfortunately my ice axe finds itself somewhere else. I end up at Melvin's feet and look up at his disapproving face shaking left and right. Shame sets in. It still didn't stop me from having some fun with the ice axe though. The worst possible way to self-arrest is to do it like in "Cliffhanger". A power driven lunge and slamming the ice axe into the snow/ice like a hammer was too much fun.

Eventually we made it all the way down and now we can check Mt. Adams off of the list.

My Phone Is Dying, 4M Dollar Memorial Service Will Not Be Paid By The City Of Portland 5:28 PM

My phone has been loyal and reliable for nearly 3 years now. We've been through bad and good, rain and shine, and a whole lot of unexpected collisions with concrete. Unfortunately, it's on its way out. It started about a couple of weeks ago and has progressively gotten worse. At first, I could still do everything, but the buttons wouldn't always respond. Just a few days ago, I could no longer read or send text messages. And as of today, I can no longer send phone calls. All that my phone is capable of is receiving calls and speed-dialing...too bad I only have voicemail programmed into speed dial.

She's been a good phone and when I got her, I had just started my journey here in Portland.

Certainly an end of an era.

Mt. Rainier Is Less Fictional Than Rainier Wolfcastle 11:01 AM

This past 4th of July weekend, I had the privilege of doing some camping out in Mt. Rainier organized by Ian. Ian, Janel, Julien, Michelle, Melvin, Anne, Jason, and myself made the trip from Portland and met up with Kevin and Andy out in Seattle.

We went on a pretty sweet hike to Comet Falls. We were actually fooled for a little while. We reached a set of falls that we thought was Comet and spent a good amount of time there until Andy pointed us in the right direction. It was good to chill out by the water anyway. Melvin took the time to practice his modeling skills. Is that Melvin on a hike to Comet Falls or is it a budding young model in a remote tropic location doing an intense photo shoot? I can't tell.


Ian, Kevin, Andy, Michelle, Julien, and I took the extra adventure to really get to the bottom of Comet Falls. It was pretty intense watching the water crash into the rocks and see the snow/ice around it. We got pretty soaked from all the mist. Here's Kevin priming for a wet t-shirt contest at the falls....ok, maybe he's just enjoying the ambiance.


The next day, Melvin, Anne, and myself did a day hike up to Muir Camp on Rainier. Summitting Mt. Rainier is generally a 2-day affair. The first day is spent getting to Muir Camp(the base camp) before the really technical stuff starts. We ran into a sign saying only 2.7 miles to go. Melvin and I were like "oh shit" while Anne was more like "hooray!". The thing is we hadn't ascended all too much and with only 2.7 miles left, that could only mean some pretty steep stuff was up ahead. Every flatish step was another reminder of the impending doom ahead.

We reached the Muir Snowfield and that's when we really started to climb. I can't say I've ever hiked slower, but we did reach Muir Camp in the end. It was the 4th of July and Melvin's first as an american citizen, so he felt it was appropriate to bring an American flag.


The views all along the way were pretty amazing. We were fortunate to have a clear view of Mt. Adams, Mt. St. Helens, and Mt. Hood.

As strenuous as it was to get up to Muir Camp, the reward was nearly as sweet. Glissading!


Once we were nearly down, we tapped into our inner thespian. Michelle has kindly named this "Mort d'Allen".


That night was pretty great. We feasted and had some fun with sparklers especially since it was Melvin's first 4th of July as an American. We wouldn't be obnoxious self-absorbed americans if we didn't have fireworks of some sort. Sparklers are probably my favorite low-key firework representing freedom, independence, and secession from the land of tea and crumpets. We really shouldn't have had our only non-american(Julien) write the "S" in USA....but he got it right the 2nd time around.


Good times. Good trip had by all.

Ashton Kutcher Shares My DSLR....Not My Sex Appeal 8:40 PM

As of a week ago, I became the proud owner of a Nikon D90. How is it, you ask? Basically, it's awesome. It is really odd, but the feeling is probably similar to being a wise and all-knowing sorcerer with a wand of power in his/her hand. Except, in my case, the wand is a camera.

It's sweet cause now I can take some pretty great pictures. They make the pictures that come out of a point and shoot camera look like a pile of fuzzy and out-of-focus monkey feces.

Here's one I took at the apartment...


I took it out of the house for the first time this weekend to take pictures at the farmers market. It was pretty cool since some color is starting to hit the farmers' goods. Here's Melvin with a gigantor zucchini...


I was also able to take my camera out on a sweet bike ride I went on with Ian and Janel. We went to Kelley Point Park. Kelley Point is where the Columbia and Willamette Rivers meet/split. It was a really cool park and a lot larger than I would've expected. What made it nice was that it wasn't a zoo or nothin'....a lot more quiet and peaceful than the usual popular waterfront areas.

Here's Ian and Janel brushing up on their map-reading skills at our lunch spot.


Ashton Kutcher is jealous.

Shubham Mukherjee - Man of Many Professional Skills 12:11 AM

Big congratulations to Shubes on graduating from law school.

Easily the most decorated man I know. I'm proud to even be associated with him.

Kids 9:56 PM

Often times, I get really sick of a song after a few months of hearing it every direction I turn. But once in a while, a song's awesomeness is wrapped in an immunity against being overplayed. Most recently, that's been MGMT's Kids. I listen to this all the time. It's played on KEXP, youtube, and portland radio stations for well over a year and I haven't gotten sick of it. I'm no big MGMT fan. I think most of their stuff is mediocre, but they really hit paydirt with Kids.

Well, Weezer decided to cover it and mix it with Lady Gaga's Poker Face. It's pretty kickass.



Is it just me or does the audience seem like the exact opposite of a sausagefest. Young adult females love them a bowlful of Weezer in the evening hours.

The Forest Queen Isn't Very Tall 9:23 PM

I've noticed the Decemberists making their rounds on talkshows lately to play "The Wanting Comes In Waves/Repaid" from their latest album. Their latest album is done in the form of a rock opera. A continuous story is told from start to end with some help from Shara Worden(My Brightest Diamond) and Becky Stark(Lavendar Diamond). Apparently Jim James is on the album too. It makes sense to have him provide vocals for tracks where they're just rocking out.

I think Shara Worden's role as the Forest Queen is pretty awesome. I'm not a big fan of her stuff as My Brightest Diamond, but whenever she plays an accompaniment role(Decemberists, Sufjan Stevens, Dark Was The Night), I've found it to be ridiculously good.

Here's a recent video from Leno.



I think it's really cool that the Decemberists were able to get Stark and Worden to come and play their roles. I don't get why Worden decided to wear flesh colored lipstick. It looks like she doesn't have lips. Is this a new thing that I'm out of touch with?

Ethel 11:59 PM

I started a sourdough starter about 2 weeks ago(April 20th). Every sourdough starter is a reflection of the area it resides. Sourdough starter is just a collection of wild yeast feasting on sugars. This wild yeast just comes comes from the air around us. This is why San Francisco sourdough is so famous/popular. It has a unique taste that people have found to be just flat out good. I've wondered what sourdough may taste like in the pacific northwest, so I took action and harvested my own wild yeast.

Believe it or not, it's ridiculously simple. It was un-nerving at times because I thought it had died on more than one occasion since the starter wasn't feeding and doubling as vigorously as I expected it too. But Ethel(my starter) has survived and is nothing short of strong.

I've made two loaves to date with her and the taste has noticeably matured between the two loaves. The bread made from Ethel will surely just continue to mature in taste over time. This is pretty exciting.

Portland sourdough....this is gonna be big.

Try A Tri 9:04 PM

I went and did a triathlon for the first time. The Hawthorn Farms Tri on May 3rd. This is my story.

Steve, Krista, Ian, and Janel hung out with me the night before the Tri. Steve was cool to bring me my race packet. I rooted through it to find a bunch of race number tags. One to go on my helmet. One to go on Kid Icarus(my bike). And one to go on myself. I was a bit vexed because what was I supposed to do with the one that was supposed to go on myself? I asked Steve and he told me to put it on the shirt I was gonna wear. I told him that I wasn't gonna wear a shirt. That seemed to shock everybody. It was followed with a lot of "Uhhh.....Wellll.....not sure what to do.....". I decided to write my race numbers on my chest and arms with permanent marker. I spent the rest of the night chillin' and asked Steve a few more tri questions about swimming and cycling etiquette. Steve is the most seasoned veteran I know when it comes to triathlons so it was cool talking with him. We part ways that night with Steve and I trying to mentally take each other out of the Tri. The both of us have been saying how we would be burning past each of us for a while. The day of reckoning is finally upon us.

I get up in the morning and bring a bag of stuff to the 2nd transition area to drop off. It was just a bag of clothes and stuff that i'd like to wear after the race. I drove over to transition one and prepped my stuff there. I situated kid icarus and my helmet. I placed my shoes and socks in a bag and a towel on top. I was really early, so I went into Hawthorn Farms only to meet Jason busting out to transition 1 to see Lynn transition. This was weird because Lynn was slotted for the Wave (9:15) after me. I guess she got herself into an earlier wave. Lynn's forte is clearly the swim. Changing waves let her bike and run with other at the same level, but at the cost of having to swim with very slow swimmers. Lynn probably clocks in at a 6:30 500m. I figure she was likely swimming with 10-11 minute swimmers. So as you can imagine, it was frustrating for her to have to lap people in the narrow lanes.

We had about 15 minutes until Steve's wave(8:30), so I just chilled with Jason. I took off my shirt and gave William and Matthew permanent markers to draw on my back and stuff. William was like "i can't". Jason and I were both like, "go ahead. it'll be fun", but he was clearly hesitant. Jason took a pen and wrote "Go Allen" on my back and then William smiled from ear to ear and was like "awesome". He proceeded to go buck wild in drawing on my back. Jason also wrote "Steve is slow" on my upper back, drew barbed wire around my left arm, and wrote "Hey Baby, Call Me 630-965-4054" on my stomach. I was a walking mural.





Ian and Janel show up and we go into the swim area to watch. The pool is 6 lanes. There are 4 swimmers to a lane. The lanes look narrower than normal. I guess it was to accomodate more swimmers. We cheered Steve and some other guys on. Steve is an excellent triathlete, but not what you'd call a graceful man. Watching him get out of the pool was like watching a beached porpoise try to roll over the edge and onto the concrete.

So I'm shirtless and people are constantly staring at me and chuckling. Some point and some just stare. After a while, I got used to it. It was really warm in the pool area, so I didn't mind. But when I was standing outside to watch and cheer Steve in Transition 1, I was really really cold. This started to have me worried about going shirtless for the entire race. Krista saw my concern and advised me to get into the warm-up pool to stay warm. I got myself ready and into the pool area.

I was slotted to go last(4th) in my lane. I wasn't too happy about that, cause I knew that I'd blow past the people ahead of me. The whistle blows and I head out the gate on fire. 3/4 down the lane, I already tap the dude's foot in front of me. BUT!!!! He doesn't stop at the end of the lane to let me pass. That little piece of crap. I was pissed. So I just pushed off like crazy and swam on the left side of the lane to pass the first two ahead of me before the #1 would run into me. I wasted way too much energy doing it, but I did it. This kind of killed me and I slowed down quite a bit to a more normal pace. I had to pass #1 again and passed #2 and #3 again before getting out of the pool.

I wanted to keep my transition time to a minimum. I felt that gave me the best chance to beat Steve since I think he's faster than me in general. So I immediately wiped down, slid on socks, my running shoes and hopped onto my bike with my helmet on and away I went.

I felt good. I was feeling really good. I was pounding away with Kid Icarus. But within the first two miles, 6 people passed me. I'm not used to getting passed much. I don't normally get passed in runs, so this was really really discouraging. The people who did pass me had super tricked out bikes with clips ins and aero bars and everything. They looked pro and legit, but I was still pissed and pretty depressed about it. Morale was low. I kept plowing away though and I ended up not having anybody else pass me and I ended up passing 2 of them back up later during the cycle. It was surprisingly nice. No rain. The sun was shining. It was a really pretty ride through the farms and countryside of northern hillsboro. You actually ride by the farm that the reality show with the little people are on. I can't say I've ever ridden so hard continuously as I did then. Whenever I ride to work, it's hard work, but there's always periods where it's easy to break and not pedal(big downhill, etc). But since this was a race, I was shifting gears to pedal hard downhill too. Looking back, it was fun. I've never went that fast before. The ride was really sparse in general, since the starts were so staggered. It's no Tour de France where there's a pack and a peloton. Instead, i saw like 6 or 8 people total. There were only 2-4 riders in my view at any time. Most of the time, it was only one. As for how my shirtless experiment was going, I'd say a-ok. I didn't feel cold at all and it felt good to have the wind blowing against my skin with the sun warming it.

I got to Transition 2, and I got off in the dismount area and started to run to put my bike on a rack with my transition 2 stuff. Woah nelly! My knees did a double take. They were like, "hold the fuck up. we just worked overtime to bike you 13 miles in PR time and now you want to run?! Well here's a fuck you!". So, there was some bumbling with my running. Post race, Ian definitely let me know that I looked funny running right off the bike with my knees buckling and all. I didn't have to change shoes or anything. Saving time! I started running and within the first 30 seconds, I felt like shit and wanted to puke. That feeling went away after 10 seconds though.

The first 2 miles were a flat out struggle. It's so weird having your legs and quads feel like huge blocks of concrete and cement. You know you can run faster...considerably faster. Instead, you're running at a 1-2 minute pace slower. It seems extra slow after going so fast on a bike too. I run and there are two turnabouts. I'm getting some comments on my mural now from the volunteers. It's funny because they only see my front(call me, race numbers, barbed wire) and then when I turn around at the turnabout, they see the real art. I see Steve! This is really really odd and perplexing because his heat started a 1/2 hour earlier than mine. Either I'm going to destroy him legitimately or something has terribly gone wrong with him. Eventually I finish. I finish strong too. Like I was getting my normal stride back in the last mile. It's incredible the differerence I felt. I would've fared much better in a 10k, just cause I could run at a good clip after the two miles.



Post Race, I found out that Steve blew a flat tire. He didn't have any tools and stuff, so he sat at the side of the road thinking what to do? Well, somebody stopped and gave him a new tube and pump and stuff. He's not allowed to actually touch anything as per race rules, but he gave the stuff to Steve. Steve eventually got his tire changed and was on his way.

How did the no-shirt thing work out? Pretty awesome I think. I felt like a minimalist. I think there was only one other person that did what I did in the entire thing. I ran, bike, and swam in my swimming jammers the entire time. I felt pretty accomplished. I think I'll make it a personal thing of mine to always do this and have people write all over my body.

My final times and splits were pretty good. I was 2 minutes off of my target for a finish time. I ended up finishing in an hour and 17 minutes. I do lay claim that I was the fastest triathlete in one of the categories. Transition 2 time. I burned through that in a hot hot 25 seconds. Hell yeah.

Fenders. I bought some racing fenders specifically for this because I thought it was gonna be raining durin gthe race. NOBODY else had fenders. I saw a ton of bikes on racks. ZERO fenders. Kid Icarus felt like such a dork being prepared for the rain. Kid Icarus also had his lights attached just in case too. He felt so embarrassed. I hate fenders. I immediately ripped them off Kid Icarus when I got back home. Kid Icarus can breathe again.

The First Post 8:58 PM

I've switched to blogspot to host my blog. This is a longtime coming since I haven't actually maintained a blog since I switched hosting providers from GoDaddy to BlueHost. As a sidenote, I wholeheartedly recommend BlueHost and would not recommend GoDaddy.

I'm gonna try to import all my old posts from simplephp.

A lot's happened since my last simplephp post, but we'll see if I ever get to doing a re-cap. I can't even remember...